Life becomes lighter when we realize that most of what others say or do isn’t about us … it’s about ‘them’. People’s words, reactions, and judgments are reflections of their own experiences, fears, and perspectives, not ours. When someone criticizes, dismisses, or misunderstands us, it’s easy to feel hurt, as if their behaviour defines our worth. But the truth is, their actions reveal their inner world, not ours.  

Taking things personally means assuming others see life exactly as we do … that they understand our intentions, struggles, and values. But everyone operates from their own reality, shaped by unique experiences. When we stop internalizing their behaviour, we reclaim our power. We choose how to interpret events, how to feel, and how to respond … rather than handing that control over to someone else.  

This mindset fosters emotional resilience. Instead of reacting defensively, we observe with curiosity - Why might they act this way? What’s their story? We recognize that we can’t control others’ perceptions, only our own actions and self-perception. Assumptions are often wrong; what we think is a personal slight may simply be someone’s bad day, insecurity, or misunderstanding.  

By not taking things personally, we free ourselves from unnecessary pain and conflict. We accept differences without needing validation. We respond with clarity, not reactivity. And in doing so, we cultivate deeper peace - knowing that our worth isn’t dictated by others, but by how we choose to see ourselves.  

The moral is - What others say is their truth. What you believe is yours. 

Guard your peace by knowing the difference.

 شیخ ابن سعدی رحمہ اللہ فرماتے ہیں:

غور و فکر کے بعد میں نے یہ پایا کہ وہ اذکار، جن کے زیادہ کرنے کی سفارش کتاب و سنت میں کی گئی ہے، کل چھہیں۔

یہ اذکار تمہاری طویل جدوجہد میں تمہارے لیے ایک تیز ہتھیار اور کارگر نسخہ ہیں، جو کہ غم، درد، تکلیف، بیماریوںاور گناہوں کے خلاف ہیں۔

پہلا ذکر:

درود شریف (درود بھیجنا)

سارا دن اس کا التزام کرو،

اور دن کے آخر میں دیکھو گے کہ تم نے کثرت سے درود بھیجا ہے۔

دوسرا ذکر:

کثرت سے استغفار کرنا

اگر اللہ تمہیں توفیق دے اور تمہیں خالی وقت میں "استغفر اللہ" کہنے کی توفیق عطا فرمائے،

تو یہ ذکر غموں کو دور کرتا ہے اور تمہارے لیے رزق کے دروازے کھول دیتا ہے۔

تیسرا ذکر:

"یَا ذَا الْجَلَالِ وَالْإِكْرَامِ"

یہ ذکر ان سنتوں میں سے ہے جو لوگوں نے چھوڑ دی ہیں،

حالانکہ نبی کریم ﷺ نے ہمیں اس کا التزام کرنے کی تاکید فرمائی ہے۔

نبی ﷺ نے فرمایا:

"ألِظّوا بـ يا ذا الجلال والإكرام"

أي: الزموا هذه الدعوة ، وأكثروا منها

(ألِظّوا) کا مطلب ہے: کثرت سے کہنا اور پابندی سے کہنا۔

"یَا ذَا الْجَلَالِ" کا مطلب ہے: اے جمال، کمال اور عظمت والے۔

"وَالْإِكْرَامِ" کا مطلب ہے: اے عطا اور سخاوت والے۔

یہ ذکر دراصل ثناء اور دعا دونوں کو یکجا کرتا ہے۔

سوچو! اگر تم دن بھر یہ کلمات سینکڑوں بار کہو، تو اللہ تم سے خوش ہوگا،

اور تمہاری حاجت جانتے ہوئے تمہیں عطا فرمائے گا۔

چوتھا ذکر:

"لَا حَوْلَ وَلَا قُوَّةَ إِلَّا بِاللَّهِ"

یہ وہ کلمہ ہے جس کے بارے میں نبی کریم ﷺ نے بہت زیادہ تاکید فرمائی اور فرمایا:

"یہ جنت کے خزانوں میں سے ایک خزانہ ہے"

اگر تم اس کلمہ کی کثرت کو اپنا معمول بنا لو،

تو تم اللہ کے انتظام میں حیرت انگیز لطف و کرم اور نعمت دیکھو گے۔

پانچواں ذکر:

حضرت یونس علیہ السلام کی دعا:

"لَا إِلٰهَ إِلَّا أَنْتَ سُبْحَانَكَ إِنِّي كُنْتُ مِنَ الظَّالِمِينَ"

یہ ذکر غموں کا قلع قمع کرنے والا اور خوشیوں کو لانے والا ہے۔

چھٹا ذکر:

تسبیح، تحمید، تکبیر اور تہلیل:

"سُبْحَانَ اللَّهِ، الْحَمْدُ لِلَّهِ، لَا إِلٰهَ إِلَّا اللَّهُ، اللَّهُ أَكْبَر"

سنہری اصول:

اذکار، دعائیں اور رقیہ کی اصل تاثیر، نفع اور پھل

کثرت، تکرار، اصرار اور غور و فکر میں ہے۔

جتنا زیادہ اللہ کا ذکر کرو گے، اللہ کی محبت حاصل کرو گے۔

جتنا دعا میں الحاح (اصرار) کرو گے، اتنی جلدی قبولیت حاصل کرو گے۔

جتنی زیادہ رقیہ کو دہراؤ گے،

اتنا ہی زیادہ شیطانوں کا قلع قمع ہوگا اور حسد کے زہر کا خاتمہ ہوگا۔

🔊 حافظ ابن الجوزی رحمہ اللہ فرماتے ہیں:

"جو چاہتا ہے کہ اس کا عمل موت کے بعد بھی ختم نہ ہو، تو وہ علم کو پھیلائے۔"

The African proverb, “You cannot convince a monkey that honey is sweeter than a banana,” perfectly encapsulates the stagnation of Pakistan’s leadership over seven decades. Civilian Despots, Military Usurpers  when in power have clung to short-term gains … bananas … while ignoring the long-term sweetness of sustainable progress … honey.  

Pakistan’s ruling elite, has always prioritized personal interests, survival/longevity and immediate rewards over genuine nation-building. Corruption, nepotism, and a lack of vision the constants. The "banana" of quick fixes … impractical, un-fathomable policies, borrowed prosperity, and authoritarian shortcuts … has always been favoured over the "honey" of institutional reform, education, and economic independence.  

Even when presented with better alternatives, accountability, meritocracy, or inclusive development, the entrenched mindset resists change. The monkey, content with its banana, refuses to believe in anything sweeter … Pakistan’s leaders have repeatedly failed to evolve, leaving the nation trapped in a loop of crises.  

Until the leadership and the system that empowers it develops a taste for something beyond ego-satisfaction, vindictiveness, short sightedness, internal cramps, oozing machismo, grandiose personal ambitions, insatiable lust for wealth, immediate gratification … Pakistan will remain unable to savour the true sweetness of progress. The tragedy is not that honey exists, but that the monkey refuses to reach for it.

لِمَ لا یتفکرون ؟؟؟